Tim Daniel Kincaid

My son,my only child died by his own hands on 4 13 01.
Tim I love and miss you more than words can say.
You were my whole world,my reason for living.
You not only took you life,you took my to.
My world ended.

As I drove through the cemetary this morning where my precious mom is buried.I could see so many
thing's in the fresh mound's of dirt. There's broken heart's and not just heart's that are broken
but shattered into a million pieces.Look closer and you can see them scattered over the fresh
mound's of dirt.Mixed with the pebbles and flower's is whats left of sumone heart. You see shattered
live's that will never be the same.You see emptiness and loniness.You see sumnone with nothing to
live for,just a fresh mound of dirt. You may see a baby or a young adult but you see beauty.You can
see memories and smiles.You feel the love that surrounds you as the wind twrils the leaves over the
fresh mounds of dirt. You can imagine a soul rising to be with God.Thru the tears and pain you see
happiness and you feel peace,you pray as you look at the fresh mound's of dirt.






I only got to keep him 16 years. He felt my pain even before he was born.He brought joy into my life
even before he was born.I wacthed my tummy move as this litttle 5lb person rolled around inside.He
had my heart and soul even before he was born.

He was my responability.I gave him all I could.When he died he took away all the little kicks and
turning in my tummy of 16 years ago.He took away all the nights we both cried alone,my son in my
arms as I rocked him.He took away the 10 little piggys that I rubbed loition on.He took all my
prayers.

He took his beautiful blue eyes and pretty smile.He took all of his tight hugs.He took my
grandbabies. He took his life and furture and he took my life and furture.I only had 1 child,a child
I can never replace.

I no longer have that part of me to love. He is gone forever.I have no more children to give my love
to,nor will I ever have.He was me,I was him and now WE are gone.







You clean his room,you go through his stuff, looking for a clue,just anything will do. You have to
settle for a box full of memories. Just a box is all you have left of your child. You have to accept
the fact that your son took his life.You relive your childs death and the last few seconds of his
life over and over.You feel your son's pain ,you walk in darkness.You have to make yourself
breath,make yourself live,but you pray to die. You pick out his casket,clothes and favorite song.
You rub his cold hands and you rub his hair. You wait for his eyes to open,but they never do. You
watch the casket close,being lowered into the ground.You fall apart. With every scoop of dirt you
feel your heart being torn out. Your eyes fill with tears,you scream. Once again you return home
without your child. You cant eat or sleep,your numb,a walking zombie,empty inside. You see other
young people doing what your child should be doing. You would gladly give your life to save the life
of your child. But you wouldnt want your child to feel the pain of living without you. They buried
my son's body but they buried my soul in that deep dark hole.

Tim Is IN Heaven
Do ya still have those side burns and that goatee that I loved so much to kiss? Is your hair still
blonde?Is it still long Tim?

What color are your wings?Are your clothes still baggy? Can you reach the highest star Tim? Do ya
still grunt when you awaken? Is "huh" still your favorite word?

Are there animals in Heaven,Tim? Do you see Butterball there? Do the starz glow at night? Are the
clouds fluffly,soft and white?

Do ya still wear boxers? Are your eyes still blue? How tall are ya now Tim? Do gurl'z think your
handsome? Do you give em all hug's? Do ya play for them Tim?